Postponed

I think my body forgot we didn't have chemo last week because I am still having an awful, side-effect filled week. I have been getting really bad headaches and Ive been burping a lot (something I always do when nauseated). My bones hurt as if I took my Neupogen shot... why dear Chemo gods can you not gimme a break? You couldn't postpone my side effects too?

... Rewind ...

So as you know I always go to my chemosifications every Thursday, every 3 weeks. So Thursday, Sept. 10, I stayed up til 3 AM the night before because I was so anxious (my brain was going "OMGOMGOMG Chemo #5 I dont know if im so excited because its almost over or because I dont want it to come") so when it was time to get up for my 8 AM chemo appointment, I totally did not. So, my friends, I was late. Got there at 9 something.

I go see my onc-a-deville (a la Cruella de Ville) because she is eeeeeviiiiieeeel and we sit there chit chatting how life has been in the past 3 weeks. We do our teet for tat, I tell her Im suffering, she tells me "It is how it is..." I tell her how disatisfied I am with the new therapist (we can go garage sale hunting and shop ikea together but she will never make my arm swelling go away!) and she tells me to basically wait until my arm is the size of a buffalo's thigh before I complain. "Take a vicodin,"she says. At this point, I was fuming in my seat but I sat still cause it is what it is. She sends me away, ready for chemo and I sit outside for 45 minutes until I decided, enough is enough - "WHERE IS MY CHEMO!?"

So I bum rush my chemo nurse ("Dude, where in the world is my chemo?") and he tells me to hold on because he is "verifying" my lab.

1) Lab results were available the day before chemo, at a time prior to onc-a-deville's sidekick nurse calling me to confirm my 8 AM appointment.

2) Lab results were available when I was discussing them with onc-a-deville 45 minutes ago.

Why are we just NOW verifying my labs?

Well it turns out, my liver function was acting up. See, when you're in chemo, your liver is all kinds of messed up, which is why it is not advisable to drink. When your liver is all kinds of messed up, it excretes this thing called AST. A normal person's AST should be around 31. At my last chemosification, it was 127 due to chemo and such. Well, turns out it was 87 last week and no matter how close it is to normal, I.. am.. guessing.. its... not?

I really dont know whats going on. They told me to wait it out until this Thursday and we could try again. So Im kinda mad that they made me face my onc when I really didn't have to... now I have to redo the whole sing and dance with her this week and it normally takes 3 weeks from seeing her to rebuild my emotional capacity. Ugh, if I must...

So anyway, Im a bit bummed that I have to wait another week for chemo to be over. I got a little too excited and almost booked my vacation to Vegas. Good thing I didn't because everything goes on hold until Im actually done. Did i jinx myself or what?

On other good news, I am going to the Living Beyond Breast Cancer Annual Conference on November. I am looking forward to the Fear of Recurrence workshop and Journaling for Health and Happiness. Im also going with my best friend of so many years. We lost touch over the past couple of years but I believe cancer brought us back together - I guess life is too short to hold grudges over the most stupid things.

Anyway... just to give y'all a sense of what I do besides complain about cancer, I am sharing my Iphone gallery for a glimpse of my world...

1. I joined a bowling league! We play one Sunday a month and in August 2010, we go to Vegas for a bowling tournament. My final score was 201 for 3 games which means I suck a$$ but I had so much fun! Im surprised my arm isn't sore like everybody's... maybe because I didn't really play so good LOL

2. Beatles Rockband is SO awesome. I could totally be Paul McCartney, I rock the mic eight days a week!! These guys are my bandmates... I am the Gwen Stefani... who else loves Guitar Hero/Rockband? We should totes have a jam sesh.. just sayin... ;)

3. My puppy Camille is the awesomeface. She's a big diva and she doesn't know her name but I love her to death. I am also a proud momma because she is potty trained. :) If cancer totally sterilizes me, I think I'll be fine having her as my child LOL

4. That is me, fat and bald at Lake Castaic. Me and my RLE (real life Edward aka el boyfriend) took our two dogs and had fun some fun in the sun, eventhough it literally hurt because my skin is as sensitive as a baby's butt. He got on the jetski and I ate candy. And slept on a fake chair.

5. And i also managed to go to the beach for one of my friend's birthday. I love the beach but the sun makes it hard... good thing it was sundown when we went. ;)

Well folks, til my next iphone dump/onc rant. Wish me luck for chemo on Wednesday... maybe i should drink to that hah ;)