Is it in the water?

So, the other day one of my bestfriends Laura texts me out of nowhere:

"I went to the docs today to get my breast examined.. They scheduled me for an ultrasound cause there's something unusual.."

First impression - Disbelief: ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?

Its so unfair to worry someone at the age of 23. So unfair to require them to get an ultrasound or mammogram and make them suffer that wait. It seriously makes you wonder- what in the H is causing this at this time, at this age? Is it the food? Is it in the water? Is it the fact that we both used to go to a certain restaurant and order margaritas during happy hour? The mindfuck is 1/2 the battle and tests every strength you could muster up - but really? At the age of 23? Are we being PUNK'D?

I knew the feeling she was going through but for some reason, it was so hard to tell her how to feel. I remember the time I had to wait for those results - it was nerve wracking and I wanted to jump off of a cliff. She was nervous too and she knew what I've gone through actually being diagnosed with cancer. She talked to her family and researched the internet. The doctors told her it was just cysts and not to worry because she was too young so Im glad she set them straight by telling them she has a friend who got breast cancer at 23. I'm also glad she didn't wait. It's not a myth, people! Just because you don't normally see these cases don't mean they don't exist. (Side note: this totally strengthens my belief that my fave animales, unicorns, are real.)

Well, she was worried and so was I. I asked everybody I knew to pray for her. My mom says God works miracles and if you pray hard enough, most of the time God listens. My mom told me that she found a lump in her boobage tons of years ago (because my mom is old durrr) but she never told anyone and just prayed. Miraculously, it disappeared. Unfortunately, this was not the case for her dear adorable daughter but I am VERY happy to tell you all that just like my mom, there is nothing wrong with my best friend's tatas. YAY to the fact that cancer wasn't able to get my two favorite people in the world.

But to be very honest (which is the point of this memoir - honesty, a place to whine and spread awareness), I felt a surge of jealousy when she told me she was perfectly fine after this morning. Not because she's fine because I love her to death and would wish nothing but good for her - but because I wish I got the same news that she got. Doctors always deliver those life altering words (ie. - "You're pregnant!" "You have cancer!" "You're perfectly fine!") I know its no use crying over spilled milk. I know these things happen to certain people and God has a plan for all of us but wow, what I would have given at the time to have heard what she did today (maybe half a kidney or something). I know cancer is probably trying to teach me a lesson - this is probably my wake up call. Now all I can do is sigh and accept it - heavy heart and all. In the inspiring words of Dory from Finding Nemo - "Just keep swimming..."

I hope we find a cure for this damn disease soon. If not a cure, maybe a cause. Not just because cancer totally sucks - but I don't think 23 years is enough time to prepare for the intolerable pain caused by the hellish machine I'd like to call mammograms. ;) *SQUISH*

PS - can you all read this awesome article on my YSC friend, Lowry? She freaking ROCKS and it's a great story. You should all read her blog anyway. Because she rocks and stuff. :)

PPS - Last chemo tomorrow. YAYUH! Gonna celebrate this with a big bottle of Patron .......... NOT.