letting go and letting God

Good morning all :)

I was having a really crummy night yesterday. It all started when I walked in one of the rooms at work and one guy said that his friend just died of cancer yesterday. It kinda scared me, at first it didn't bug me, but then it dawned on me - what if i died of cancer? I know that there are a lot of survivors and I know that the treatment is better but based on the aggressiveness of what i have, what if the treatments don't work? Then i started reading about the statistics of breast cancer and how younger people have a lower survival rate... What if i go through all these and i still have it... I was being a big crybaby and a totally negative so I decided to call the Network of Strength and the person I spoke with told me to 1) stop going thru the internet to look for facts, 2) she went through the same exact treatments as me and has been free of cancer for 10 years, 3) keep thinking positive!

I am trying! Sometimes it just gets to be too much and I still have my worries but I think if I don't think too much about it, I wont get overwhelmed. I tried to do some retail therapy and bought stuff for the new apartment :) Nothing big, just little stuff...

Anyway, the sooner i think positive the sooner i feel better! Starting... right... now...